Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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