they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
