I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
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Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
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He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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