Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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