How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize