Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
