I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
