giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
