he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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