Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
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Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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