do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
