There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
This is my gift to your gina
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
