a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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