My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize