i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
