do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
