i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
