my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
