ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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