They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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