Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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