But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
