My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
