My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
