areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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