I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
