oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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