i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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