Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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