I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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