i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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