His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
