Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
