Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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