Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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