Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
