So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
