Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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