Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
