It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You dont lie about slip and slides
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
