Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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