Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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