There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This girl is more easily done than said...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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