it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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