No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
