oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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