Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he thought i was a dude.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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