I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
only you would photoshop your dick
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
