my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
