And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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