he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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