I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I can text with my tongue
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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