Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
