Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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