it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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