i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
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Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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