I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
