craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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