she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
