I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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