Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
