she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just blew my weed a kiss
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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