He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
