I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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