Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
