At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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