I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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