my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
