We should be called the Road Head Warriors
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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