So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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